Dear all,

you are hereby cordially invited to send to me your submissions for your actual academic achievements of this year. Publications are one thing, but the real currency to be measured by are:

Most dramatic paper title (title or subtitle)
Best acronym (for a tool or approach)
Most beautiful figure/plot (non-vector graphics are desk rejected)
Most fitting meme used in a talk

Just DM me or email me your submission. I will sponsor prizes. The winners will be announced on our next tenure meeting.

Cheers
Alex